You should be focusing on your feelings and not how you look when having sex. Goldwyn advises that you should not be concerned about what your body looks like. “Sex is messy, awkward, and often funny, so there is no such thing a perfect body. There is a wide range of experiences and angles, so you don’t need to worry about those. I guarantee that your partner won’t be worried about your cellulite and love handles.
Sex is all about pleasure and should be enjoyable. So relax! Rebecca Alvarez Story, sexologist, and founder of Bloomi, says that you should not only try to be present in the moment but also know it’s okay if things don’t go as planned. “We tend to think that our first experience having sex is easy, but it can be awkward, trial-and-error, or quick,” she said. Try a sex position, and if it fails, or you have trouble getting a condom wrapper opened quickly, don’t worry. Just laugh it off and enjoy the experience.
Despite the fact that BDSM is being made more popular by media portrayals and increased openness about intimate preferences and habits, there are still many misconceptions about sexual practice. This includes incorrectly assuming it to be abusive and negative. Marianne’s degrading Sexologist in Delhi scene on Hulu’s Normal People shows this most clearly. Marianne asks her partner to stop taking naked photos of her and has him tie her wrists.
Despite mischaracterizations of the sexual act by dedicated communities, the truth is that BDSM is a safe, secure, consensual, healthy, and satisfying part of a fulfilling sex lifestyle. However, it can be overwhelming to learn more about it and maybe even try it out yourself. Jess O’Reilly PhD, sexologist, and host of the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast explains the basics of BDSM. This is the absolute minimum, so we will start with what it actually means.
While BDSM can be used to cover a variety of sexual activities, practitioners often play complementary roles that involve some power differentials,” Dr. O’Reilly said, referring specifically to the roles of “dominant” and “submissive”. “Activities are emphasized by consent from all parties, and BDSM could be a part healthy, normal, safe sexplay.”
Dr. O’Reilly outlines her four components for the BDSM to help beginners get started in sexual practice. You will want to keep these notes in mind, regardless of whether you are curious about the process or want to try it yourself. BDSM refers to sexual play, which involves power exchange or pain. Participants can subscribe to different roles and dynamics in the context of the session. Broken down to its single letters, BDSM can be described as a combination of “bondage,” ‘dominance’ or ‘discipline”, “sadism or submission” and “masochism.” Sometimes terms are grouped together in pairs. BD refers to bondage, discipline, DS for dominance and subjection, and SM to sadomasochism.
R.A.C.K. R.A.C.K. is short for risk-aware and consensual. This phrase summarizes two key components of sex, while also acknowledging the risk involved in all sex. You don’t want your partner to light a Lilac Breeze candle, take it home, and then go wild with wax play. Instead, you need to get your partner’s consent, outline the steps to make it safe, and discuss the risks. Even if your partner does not intend to do this, it will likely result in you both being dissatisfied with the experience.